I want to go to a spa where they rehydrate me with a saline drip and give me facials and massages. Is that rehab?
Haha, I’m not going to pretend that Molly is good in any way, but that’s the most fearmongering, stupid, and inaccurate description I’ve ever read.
Summer of Megadeth: Why I Gave Up Posting on Summer of Megadeth -
I don’t know how much time you guys spend on this, but I want you to know how much I appreciate it.
I grew up in a state with a very strong Summer of Megadeth following. Lots of the people in my family were also very into Summer of Megadeth — just occasionally, or as a real passion. Some were followers, reading their dashboards many times daily, some even read Summer of…
I just realized that I only post on this thing when I’m drunk and upset but YOU GUYS (directed to the no one that reads this, and to be clear, absolutely no one should read this because it’s completely worthless)… Smokey and the Bandit is on cable and my boyfriend just wants to listen to Rage Against the Machine. Come on! I tried to sneak out to the Tibetian Freedom Concert in fucking 1997 to see these guys. Surely they’re not still so angry? Calm the fuck down. Watch Smokey and the Bandit with me, dudes.
How To Be a Twentysomething Who Gives Advice To All Other Twentysomethings -
Be unswervingly wrong about everything you say. Take a contrary position on the most commonsensical wisdom and do it forecefully, so that the other docile, more thoughtful twentysomethings are jolted by your confidence in what appears, to them, to be vaguely spiritual platitudes at best and suggestions of self-destruction at worst. It also helps if you never let them speak.
This is perfect.
It really is.
Jesus why do there have to be “twentysomthings”. Ugh. Go to hell. I’m drunk. Get off my fucking lawn.
ETA: Okay, sorry twewntysomdthisnfsgns. You’re probably cool. I’m just pissed because I’m about to be thirtysholmkeknkniniing and I actually totally remember being in my twenties and I wasn’t all depressed and I got laid a lot and so go on with your bad selves, twentyshosdinmthings. Get it on. Just with the with the whining about being young, I remember, but maybe dial it back a notch.
Albino Black Widow Spider Deviled Eggs
Not that I think they’re dumb or anything but they’re always willing to believe the best case scenario. I talked to my inside operative in the house and after the whole ordeal she asked them how I was and my dad said “skinny”. This is a guy who told me I was getting a beer gut at 15. To be fair, I did drink a lot of beer when I was 15. But yeah, they’ve noticed.
Also I’m so drunk I’m holding my left eye closed. And I suck at pool. Sorry dad!